How to Write an Obituary When You Didn’t Know the Person Well

Writing an obituary is already an emotional task, but it can be even more challenging if you write it for someone you do not know so well. It could be a distant relative, a colleagues parent or a friends grandparent. However, the essence of writing an obituary remains the same - to honor and preserve a legacy. Luckily, with the right approach, compassion and a little bit of research, you can write meaningful obituaries residents would remember.

Start With The Basics

Take a bottom-up approach and build from there. First, obituary writers should make a list of everything they have to include. To make your life simpler, here is one:

• Name, Age and Birth date: These are included in obituaries to preserve identity and to build a sense of familiarity.

• Deaths Time, Date, and Cause: Since an obituary is a death announcement, it is self-explanatory why you need to add these details.

• Parents and Living Relatives: Names of living family members are added to show who is honoring them.

• Announcement of memorial, funeral or cremation: Details about the time and venue of the service will ensure the attendees show up timely and accordingly.

Do A Little Research

Instead of jumping straight into the writing, take some time out to research the person you are writing an obituary for. Ask the people close to them, if you can, about their interests, values, memories and favourites. This way, you will be able to write something personalized instead of a generalized, impersonal statement. You may also look for their social media to see the type of presence they curated, ask about personality traits, hobbies and career milestones from their family. It would not only give you ready-to-use content for the obituary but also give a semblance of knowing the person, so writing would become easier.

Focus On Facts Over Feelings

Heres a crucial detail: it is understandable to assume that obituaries have to be emotional. They dont. You can simply keep the tone neutral, respectful, and informative. You do not have to guess the departed persons feelings; just stick to the facts. Avoid using emotional language that makes it seem like you are doing too much or hints at insincerity. Let their life speak for themselves. Highlight their accomplishments, role in the family or community, and long-term commitments - these alone can speak volumes.

Highlight Milestones and Achievements

It is a common practice to dedicate a couple of sentences to celebrate the deceaseds achievements and milestones. So, you can mention their education and career aspirations. Aside from this, if they favoured a specific charity or were a part of a community service program, now would be a good time to mention that as well. Usually, milestones vary from person to person, so you could also just ask their family for things the deceased was most proud of, and mention them here if they are relevant.

Keep It Short and Sincere

Keep in mind that while you did not personally know the person the obituary is for, the people reading it did. So, you owe it not only to the departed soul but also to the loved ones mourning to write a sincere, authentic, and respectful account. Do not feel pressured to go overboard with the emotive language and phrases; just focus more on clarity and comprehension. Even a short obituary can leave a lasting impact if it is written with care and respect.

Share It With Their Family

Once you have rechecked and proofread the obituary and confirmed all the details, it is time to share it with the family. Ask them for feedback on the content, tone, and whether you have managed to capture the essence of the deceaseds life and legacy. Their constructive advice will help you tweak a couple of things, and they may share some on-the-spot insights into their life that you did not know before. This way, you get another chance to make the changes after feedback and edit the obituary according to the feedback.

Time To Publish It

Once the written obituary is edited and reviewed, it is time to find a photo that goes with it. This adds a final touch to the obituary and perfects it. For publishing it, take into account the familys wishes. Whether they want it to be posted on the internet at a memorial service or a funeral homes website, or in the local newspaper so people in the community can get to know it. Or if the family wants to put it up on their socials instead, that is also a viable option.

Conclusion

While obituaries do not have to be emotional, they have to be personal. And so if you are writing one for someone you did not know very well, take the time, put in some effort, and do a little research on the person before grabbing a pen. Then, use all the basic facts about the deceased, and you can write simple, respectful, and real obituaries that residents remember.